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For those of you who’ve already made your New Year’s resolutions here’s my advice — throw them out. Put simply, resolutions don’t work because they’re often an attack on ourselves. Resolutions are made from a state of feeling that we’ve failed in some way, that we are not enough, that if only we could change this or that about ourselves we would be better. Instead, swap out resolutions for goals which are seeded in a much higher vibration.
Goals empower. Resolutions punish.
Goals focus on what you want to create. Resolutions focus on what you want to destroy.
Goals emanate from joyful heart’s desires. Resolutions reside in shame.
Here are my three proven tips for creating and manifesting meaningful goals:
#1 Set them in February
While I do a 21-day mind, body, spirit reset in January, I’ll wait until February to develop my goals. An early year mini health reset is achievable because unlike a New Year’s resolution there is no overwhelming obligation to make the practices permanent, therefore the mind has less resistance to them. By February, the rush, pressure, and intensity of the new year has calmed down a bit, you’ll be feeling clearer after the reset, and you’ll be able to really take time to reflect on long-term meaningful goals.
Use January to visualize and daydream. What do you want your life to look like ten years from now? We often have few limitations or restrictions on how we envision our life in a decade so it’s easier to silence the internal naysayer who gets caught up in how is that going to happen?. Tap in to what really resonates with your heart, without regard to external validation or expectations of how you will get there. Use all of your senses — what does it look like, smell, taste, sound like? For example, if you dream of moving to another state do you smell fields, hay on the farm, garden flowers, or the ocean? What do you feel on your body? A silky dress, a ski outfit, a cotton tee, a crisply structured jacket? Use this step to move into a higher, more expansive version of who you are with no limitation.
#2 Write Them Down
After you’ve danced with all the visions in your head for a few weeks, you’ll sit down to write them out in early February. Do so when you are in a joyful mood and not feeling pressure or anxiety around your goals in any way. The ceremony should be sacred and calm but also fun and exciting. Bring in music, flowers, essential oils, candles, photos, or your favorite beverage so the moment is energetically charged. Here are the tried and true tricks I’ve used for nearly two decades:
#3 Release and Receive
As you go about taking actionable, everyday steps toward your goals you should do so with soft eyes, a light heart, and open mind. Allow for your dreams to show up in a way you never expected. For example throughout my thirties I had this romantic dream that I would end up marrying a European citizen. I wrote the following as one of my ten year goals at age 32: “I am married to a man who loves me deeply and is kind, funny, smart, settled in his career, and a European citizen.” I met the Sergeant one week after my 40th birthday, he had all of those qualities but was born in the Bronx and a U.S. citizen. Shortly thereafter I discovered that he was a first generation American and held Irish/EU citizenship as well. My dream came true in a way I could have never predicted.
Writing goals instead of resolutions works because they focus on what you want to receive, unlike resolutions which are all about what you want to reject. The mind adjusts easier to adding things to your life, than it does to taking things away. The irony is that when you add positive, healthy, interesting, and new practices to your life the old, tired, habitual elements seem to fade away on their own. You won’t have to struggle to let things go, you simply won’t have the attention for them anymore because you’ll be so focused on all the beautiful and welcome additions.